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Artificial Flowers - From Hell |
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My neighbor is totally devoid of any artistic sense. The materials he
chooses for his yard decoration are totally baffling. Even though his
yard is neat and well maintained, the decorations he placed there will
appall anyone. He fancies using artificial flowers in his decorations
but the result of his labor always looked like a product of some
demented scientific experiment. You would think that he would be an
excellent horror set designer for Hollywood.
Year after year I have to suffer from the awful designs that he sets up in his yard. He is fond of making sprawling flower beds out of artificial flowers. The problem is, he doesn’t bother to make them look as though they’re genuine. As a result the flower blooms he makes every spring are out of control and the greenery in his yard is always much too green.
The colors he picks for his artificial flower designs are those that are never found in nature like neon green, and fluorescent pink, which gives you the feeling that you’re dreaming every time you happen to gaze out into his yard. His aesthetic preference makes you wonder if he is color blind, or is suffering from some rare type of eye disease. He loves artificial stuff so much that I wouldn’t be surprised if he replaces his lawn with Astroturf.
I used to be fond of using artificial flowers myself, but after seeing my neighbor’s yard I never touched them again. He even goes further by loading countless planters full with brightly colored plastic blooms. This year he has out done himself by placing window boxes outside of his shed and loading them up with hideous, artificial flowers.
He hung curtains in the windows of his shed making you wonder if he also has a tiny plastic family behind the glass window, living happily in their plastic artificial world complete with artificial flowers and turf. If ever that yard burn and all those repulsive decorations goes up in flames, the smell of plastic would saturate the atmosphere for a decade and would greatly increase the world’s global warming woes.
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